People often search for jokes but many times they do not find what they actually search for, but this page and even this whole blog is made to serve you with the world's best jokes with newest updates, so just relax and enjoy!
Doctor: Do get up early in the morning and exercise.. This is the best mantra mantra for long life.
Man: But see that Chicken, gets up very early morning but in the evening - finish...
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Man to Friend: I want to give my girlfriend a good gift.
Friend: Diamond Ring?
Man: Nope, something which she has never wear earlier..
Friend: Gents Underwear...
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Boyfriend playing with her girl hairs and fainted..
When he opened his eyes after s20 minutes..
He requested hi girlfriend..Please have regular bath..
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2 women sentenced for 20 years in one imprison.
After their freedom, they come out of prison and spoke one another...
Ok bye, rest of the talks we will have on call.
---
Yesterday, I got invitation card of my Ex-Girlfriend!
Felt little pain....
Then made my mind to go...
Because love has it own place and love for food has its own...
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Afur
Afur who?
I fur got my joke!
----
Why are hurricanes named after women?
Because they come wet and wild and they leave with your house and your car..
---
Q. How do you make seven an even number?
A. Simple, just take the s out!
Thursday, 17 September 2015
Saturday, 22 August 2015
Jokes and Funny Lines You Can't Afford to Miss
Often, in the tight schedule of daily, we skip the laughter but it is not good. SO here we come with good jokes to be read in short time. So enjoy and spread. Hurray!
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks �Are you reading that?" I didn�t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again. (David Brenner).
These impossible women! How do they get around us! The poet was right: can�t live with them, or without them! (Aristophanes)
I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy " I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, �Okay, you're ugly too!" (Rodney Dangerfield)
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)
A comedian is sitting at the bar of a comedy club late one night when a beautiuful woman comes up to him and says "I saw you perform tonight, and you�re the funniest guy I�ve ever seen. I want to take you home and give you the hottest night you�re ever had." The comedian looks at her and says, "Did you see the first show or the second show?"
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks �Are you reading that?" I didn�t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again. (David Brenner).
These impossible women! How do they get around us! The poet was right: can�t live with them, or without them! (Aristophanes)
I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy " I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, �Okay, you're ugly too!" (Rodney Dangerfield)
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)
A comedian is sitting at the bar of a comedy club late one night when a beautiuful woman comes up to him and says "I saw you perform tonight, and you�re the funniest guy I�ve ever seen. I want to take you home and give you the hottest night you�re ever had." The comedian looks at her and says, "Did you see the first show or the second show?"
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
Friday, 7 August 2015
9 Super Light Jokes
Life is all about laughing as much as possible, but you must need a reason to have a good laugh! Don't worry, here are top 9 light hilarious funny jokes to help in doing it. Do share them further to continue the wave of fun keep surrounding the world!
1. Wife: I can fight the whole world for you!
Husband: All the the time, you keep on fighting with me!
Wife: The lovely price, you are my whole world! :)
2. Man to 2 boys: You both look good, what is your relation?
Guy: We have very far relation?
Man: How?
Guy: He is my younger brother.
Man: So how, he is very close relative..
Guy: No, there is six more brother before him!
3. You look so beautiful in your profile pic.
Girl: I am good designer.
4. Man: Wife is missing!
Officer: Are you blind. It is post office, just go to police station.
Man: Ops, sorry, I got mad due to excess happiness!
5. I never made a mistake, I think I did it once but I was wrong!
6. Man: I am not getting married:
Priest: You can not do it, there is lot of happiness written in your fate!
7. Man: How is my son in studies?
Teacher: He is great, it feels like the invention of 0 is just for him!
8. Friend: Where are you going?
Me: Just washroom to enlighten myself. It is I will not
9. Teacher: Again, you have not did your homework, tell, what punishment should I give you?
Guy: That girl has not also did it, lock us both in bathroom!
1. Wife: I can fight the whole world for you!
Husband: All the the time, you keep on fighting with me!
Wife: The lovely price, you are my whole world! :)
2. Man to 2 boys: You both look good, what is your relation?
Guy: We have very far relation?
Man: How?
Guy: He is my younger brother.
Man: So how, he is very close relative..
Guy: No, there is six more brother before him!
3. You look so beautiful in your profile pic.
Girl: I am good designer.
4. Man: Wife is missing!
Officer: Are you blind. It is post office, just go to police station.
Man: Ops, sorry, I got mad due to excess happiness!
5. I never made a mistake, I think I did it once but I was wrong!
6. Man: I am not getting married:
Priest: You can not do it, there is lot of happiness written in your fate!
7. Man: How is my son in studies?
Teacher: He is great, it feels like the invention of 0 is just for him!
8. Friend: Where are you going?
Me: Just washroom to enlighten myself. It is I will not
9. Teacher: Again, you have not did your homework, tell, what punishment should I give you?
Guy: That girl has not also did it, lock us both in bathroom!
Wednesday, 22 July 2015
Best Time Pass Jokes
We come here again with best ever time pass jokes to make sure that your smile never stops.
Here we go...
Girl: Dad, I want to share one important thing with you.
Dad: Ok, tell me.
Girl: I am in love with a guy. He lives in U.S.A.
Dad: But where you met?
Girl: We met on a dating website.. become friend through social media, he proposed me on Skype..
then we chatted a lot on messaging app..
Father: oh really. Then you both can get married on twitter... go on honeymoon on travel site, get kids through shopping site, and receive them through gmail..
And moreover.....if you further feel your decision is wrong... sell it reseller website...
Husband: Shouts and yells ay wife.. I am calling you from last one hour.. Why do not you pick the call?
Wife: I was dancing on ring tone.
One fat man reads the newspaper ans notices the advertisement of - Fat Reduce Program!
He call and girls replies: Ok.. Get ready in the morning at 5 AM.
Morning, his door bell rings and he opens the door. A pleases to see a beautiful girl which jogging suit.
The girl asks him if you want to kiss me - catch me and she runs.
The fat guy runs after her..
This happens for a week and he reduces his weight by 5.0 kgs.
He again participates in 10.0 kg weight reduce program.
The next morning very beautiful girls knocks the door and asks him if if wants a hug and kiss, catch.
Again, this goes for a week and he successfully reduces 10.0 kgs.
Now he become greedy and participates in 20.0 kgs weight reduce program.
The next morning....
The door bell gets ring and he surprise to see a huge black man was standing and shouts if I catch you - I will kiss you.
So run.............lol
Female: My lips are infected..
Doctor: How many times do you kiss?
Female: Once in a year!
Doctor: They are not infected rather they are rusted!!
World's smallest poem..
Life is big struggle...til wife is with you..
Please God,, Please intimate me 5 minute before dying that I am about to die.
Because I die without formatting my mobile.... It will be a big mess!
Wife: Suddenly gets up at 2 clock night... awakes her husband and asks:
Do you know the date of when you got your job?
Husband: yes, 8th April 2004
Wife: And your best friend's marriage date?
Husband: yes, 12th September 2009
Wife: Our new neighbor's age in our society?
Husband: 4 months
And you sister engagement date?
30gth July
But why are you asking this in mid of night? husband asks angrily..
Wife: Today is my birthday....
A ong silence.....
Here we go...
Girl: Dad, I want to share one important thing with you.
Dad: Ok, tell me.
Girl: I am in love with a guy. He lives in U.S.A.
Dad: But where you met?
Girl: We met on a dating website.. become friend through social media, he proposed me on Skype..
then we chatted a lot on messaging app..
Father: oh really. Then you both can get married on twitter... go on honeymoon on travel site, get kids through shopping site, and receive them through gmail..
And moreover.....if you further feel your decision is wrong... sell it reseller website...
Husband: Shouts and yells ay wife.. I am calling you from last one hour.. Why do not you pick the call?
Wife: I was dancing on ring tone.
One fat man reads the newspaper ans notices the advertisement of - Fat Reduce Program!
He call and girls replies: Ok.. Get ready in the morning at 5 AM.
Morning, his door bell rings and he opens the door. A pleases to see a beautiful girl which jogging suit.
The girl asks him if you want to kiss me - catch me and she runs.
The fat guy runs after her..
This happens for a week and he reduces his weight by 5.0 kgs.
He again participates in 10.0 kg weight reduce program.
The next morning very beautiful girls knocks the door and asks him if if wants a hug and kiss, catch.
Again, this goes for a week and he successfully reduces 10.0 kgs.
Now he become greedy and participates in 20.0 kgs weight reduce program.
The next morning....
The door bell gets ring and he surprise to see a huge black man was standing and shouts if I catch you - I will kiss you.
So run.............lol
Female: My lips are infected..
Doctor: How many times do you kiss?
Female: Once in a year!
Doctor: They are not infected rather they are rusted!!
World's smallest poem..
Life is big struggle...til wife is with you..
Please God,, Please intimate me 5 minute before dying that I am about to die.
Because I die without formatting my mobile.... It will be a big mess!
Wife: Suddenly gets up at 2 clock night... awakes her husband and asks:
Do you know the date of when you got your job?
Husband: yes, 8th April 2004
Wife: And your best friend's marriage date?
Husband: yes, 12th September 2009
Wife: Our new neighbor's age in our society?
Husband: 4 months
And you sister engagement date?
30gth July
But why are you asking this in mid of night? husband asks angrily..
Wife: Today is my birthday....
A ong silence.....
Sunday, 21 June 2015
Presenting the World's Best Jokes for much better life
Life is much easier when you really do something you are capable of, with a smile on your face. People will be impressed to see your performance and will mistaken you are doing very hard work in your work but you know that you are enjoying while having fun because you are doing what you love to do. Hours pass like minutes and still you have that wish do more. This is called right choice baby.
Quick Jokes and funny stuff do the right thing for you baby so here we are going to help you by having the opportunity to let you read our newest collection of latest jokes.
But first let us aware you the endless benefits of having humor. Here are the major points here due to short of time:
1.) No space for boredom
2.) Liked by everyone
3.) Makes you most lovable person
4.) Health and no disease
5.) Double the energy
6.) Tension, oh place at all
A.) A man moves into a colony where people don't wear clothes. He receives a letter from his mom asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new place. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a that colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!"
After so much research, a man finds a book called "How to be the Man in your house". He goes through it and learns. After reading, he sets the book down stands up and says to his wife "From now onwards, my word is law. You will prepare and have ready a gourmet meal for me each evening on my return from work, you will then run me a bath, was my back and dry me off. We shall then make love the what I want to. Oh,and one more thing, guess who will be dressing me from head to toe in the morning", The wife looked up at him and replied " If I'm right it'll be the fkn undertaker"
B.) A guy walks into a pub and sits down next to a hunk with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" "No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
C.) �Hi, my name is (your name), and you are... gorgeous!"
D.) �You�re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life."
E.) �Oops, I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?"
F.) �I�m invisible. Can you see me? How about tomorrow night?"
G.) You: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
You: When you fell from Heaven.
H.) Why do we trust the banks with our money, but they don't trust us with their pens?
I.) He who runs in front of a car gets tired, but he who runs behind a car gets exhausted!
j.) you're so short you can sit on the curb and swing your legs.
K.) Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A HANDSOME INTELLIGENT SENSITIVE MAN?
A: A RUMOR.
L.) What does 0 say to 8?
Ans : Nice belt!
Quick Jokes and funny stuff do the right thing for you baby so here we are going to help you by having the opportunity to let you read our newest collection of latest jokes.
But first let us aware you the endless benefits of having humor. Here are the major points here due to short of time:
1.) No space for boredom
2.) Liked by everyone
3.) Makes you most lovable person
4.) Health and no disease
5.) Double the energy
6.) Tension, oh place at all
A.) A man moves into a colony where people don't wear clothes. He receives a letter from his mom asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new place. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a that colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!"
After so much research, a man finds a book called "How to be the Man in your house". He goes through it and learns. After reading, he sets the book down stands up and says to his wife "From now onwards, my word is law. You will prepare and have ready a gourmet meal for me each evening on my return from work, you will then run me a bath, was my back and dry me off. We shall then make love the what I want to. Oh,and one more thing, guess who will be dressing me from head to toe in the morning", The wife looked up at him and replied " If I'm right it'll be the fkn undertaker"
B.) A guy walks into a pub and sits down next to a hunk with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" "No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
C.) �Hi, my name is (your name), and you are... gorgeous!"
D.) �You�re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life."
E.) �Oops, I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?"
F.) �I�m invisible. Can you see me? How about tomorrow night?"
G.) You: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
You: When you fell from Heaven.
H.) Why do we trust the banks with our money, but they don't trust us with their pens?
I.) He who runs in front of a car gets tired, but he who runs behind a car gets exhausted!
j.) you're so short you can sit on the curb and swing your legs.
K.) Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A HANDSOME INTELLIGENT SENSITIVE MAN?
A: A RUMOR.
L.) What does 0 say to 8?
Ans : Nice belt!
Tuesday, 2 June 2015
Day with Lots of Laughs
Filling your day with lots of laughs is the best way to live you life. It lighten up your heart and makes your mood cool. Benefits are endless. You should never fall in love with sadness and the best option is falling in for fun. As this blog is dedicated to providing the entertainment material, so here we share some of latest and most liked jokes ever.
Here we go:
A Bus full of wives going for a picnic crashed with no survivors.
Each Husband cried for a week.
But one husband continued for more than a month.
When asked he replied miserably... " My wife missed the Bus"
Spouse to Husband (on Phone): Dear, Can you talk for 2 seconds? Hope, you are not busy?
Husband: Yes! Why? What is it?
Wife: I have a Good and Bad news!
Husband: I want to hear only Good news, don't have time for the Bad
Wife: Fine, the Good news is that the Air Bags in our new Range Rower worked perfectly FINE! I reached home safe but car....Ok lets leave bad news..
Boyfriend can to his girl friend: Hello. how are you doing my love!
Girl: perfect sweetheart!
Boy: Can you please spare time to meet me during the weekend at my home alone?
Girl: Ops, I am sorry honey, I can't because I am going to attend my cousin's wedding and the next day I'll be too tired. sorry.
Guy: Ok as you wish but I was just planning to take you out for mall, surprise you with an smartphone, then buy you a new dress and the movie and much more..
Girl: Wow, I will be coming and I may even spend the whole weekend there if you want my love.
Guy: What about the wedding?
Girl: Which wedding, I was joking...
Guy: Me too...
Whats the difference between women and batteries?
Batteries have a positive side!
What's the difference between a normal birthday party, and a bulimic birthday party? At the bulimic birthday party, the cake jumps out of the girl instead of the girl jumping out of the cake.
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin that pushed the first one.
Here we go:
A Bus full of wives going for a picnic crashed with no survivors.
Each Husband cried for a week.
But one husband continued for more than a month.
When asked he replied miserably... " My wife missed the Bus"
Spouse to Husband (on Phone): Dear, Can you talk for 2 seconds? Hope, you are not busy?
Husband: Yes! Why? What is it?
Wife: I have a Good and Bad news!
Husband: I want to hear only Good news, don't have time for the Bad
Wife: Fine, the Good news is that the Air Bags in our new Range Rower worked perfectly FINE! I reached home safe but car....Ok lets leave bad news..
Boyfriend can to his girl friend: Hello. how are you doing my love!
Girl: perfect sweetheart!
Boy: Can you please spare time to meet me during the weekend at my home alone?
Girl: Ops, I am sorry honey, I can't because I am going to attend my cousin's wedding and the next day I'll be too tired. sorry.
Guy: Ok as you wish but I was just planning to take you out for mall, surprise you with an smartphone, then buy you a new dress and the movie and much more..
Girl: Wow, I will be coming and I may even spend the whole weekend there if you want my love.
Guy: What about the wedding?
Girl: Which wedding, I was joking...
Guy: Me too...
Whats the difference between women and batteries?
Batteries have a positive side!
What's the difference between a normal birthday party, and a bulimic birthday party? At the bulimic birthday party, the cake jumps out of the girl instead of the girl jumping out of the cake.
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin that pushed the first one.
Tuesday, 3 March 2015
Every week we add New Jokes and Quotes
"This funny humorous post is invented to add new quotes and jokes instantly as they come new in the market/mind. You can visit check enjoy it now and visit it again to check upcoming fun. So everybody - Get ready to laugh!"
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If hubby is head of the family then what is wife?
Wife is the neck of the family and can turn head anywhere!
Wife: I will not survive. I will be died!
Husband: I will also be died.
Wife: I have fever and going through big pain but why you will die?
Husband: I can not tolerate so big news of happiness.
In psychology class..
Professor has placed a cake and other side female rat.
Rat gone to cake.
Other time, they places bread and female rat. Than again it goes to bread.
Several times, they put different food items but rat never attracted to female rat.
Professor - It is proved that hunger is bigger than love.
One intelligent student: Sir, Will you please once try to replace the female rat? It may possible that existing female is its wife!!
"Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I am doing." - Werner Von Braun
"Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher
"It is difficult to keep quiet if you have nothing to say." - Malcolm Margolin
Man: I am very happy with life. Everything is just perfect. No problems, lot of free time and peace of mind.
Doctor: I got your nerve. You have lack of vitamin SHE!
Boys capability of keep balance should be examined when they are making pegs!
Crazies - They distribute it like they are sharing heaven's syrup! Cheers..
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If hubby is head of the family then what is wife?
Wife is the neck of the family and can turn head anywhere!
Wife: I will not survive. I will be died!
Husband: I will also be died.
Wife: I have fever and going through big pain but why you will die?
Husband: I can not tolerate so big news of happiness.
In psychology class..
Professor has placed a cake and other side female rat.
Rat gone to cake.
Other time, they places bread and female rat. Than again it goes to bread.
Several times, they put different food items but rat never attracted to female rat.
Professor - It is proved that hunger is bigger than love.
One intelligent student: Sir, Will you please once try to replace the female rat? It may possible that existing female is its wife!!
"Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I am doing." - Werner Von Braun
"Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher
"It is difficult to keep quiet if you have nothing to say." - Malcolm Margolin
Man: I am very happy with life. Everything is just perfect. No problems, lot of free time and peace of mind.
Doctor: I got your nerve. You have lack of vitamin SHE!
Boys capability of keep balance should be examined when they are making pegs!
Crazies - They distribute it like they are sharing heaven's syrup! Cheers..
Saturday, 28 February 2015
Lot of Laugh
No intro - because you know what we are going to do, is make you lot of laugh! so get ready..
The person who got married in hurry - has spoiled his life..
So what ! Who has married so calmly has the same results...
People make lot of fun on marriage where husband is only victim. If you are in this category - you can understand the above pun better.
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Wife: Will you please give me the news paper,please?
Husband: How backward you are! People have reached to moon... Please take my tablet and use it.
Wife: Taken the table and killed the cockroach with it..
Hubby: Insane!
lNever try to boast anything. First listen to your wife - they are always right. Over smartness kills that is what happens in above joke.
----
Life is visiting card.. Wife is memory card.. Husband is a ATM card..
Girlfriend is a debit card, neighbor is greeting card, sister in law is recharge card.
Parents ate pan card. Brother in law a duplicate card. child is identity card.
But friends are perfect card, works everywhere!
Every relationship is like card so use them wisely and save some good one for lat minute usage.
----
Two biggest lie of the world.
Female: Just getting ready in 2 minutes.
Male: Just coming home in 2 minutes.
World truth - and convert it as a part of humor.
----
After marriage the shy boy got confused on how to start the conversation!
After long silence, he finally asks to his wife: Do your family know that you are going to stay here from tonight onward?
Shyness makes sometime dumbo. So this bridegroom asks a silly question out of fear and makes us smile.
The person who got married in hurry - has spoiled his life..
So what ! Who has married so calmly has the same results...
People make lot of fun on marriage where husband is only victim. If you are in this category - you can understand the above pun better.
-----
Wife: Will you please give me the news paper,please?
Husband: How backward you are! People have reached to moon... Please take my tablet and use it.
Wife: Taken the table and killed the cockroach with it..
Hubby: Insane!
lNever try to boast anything. First listen to your wife - they are always right. Over smartness kills that is what happens in above joke.
----
Life is visiting card.. Wife is memory card.. Husband is a ATM card..
Girlfriend is a debit card, neighbor is greeting card, sister in law is recharge card.
Parents ate pan card. Brother in law a duplicate card. child is identity card.
But friends are perfect card, works everywhere!
Every relationship is like card so use them wisely and save some good one for lat minute usage.
----
Two biggest lie of the world.
Female: Just getting ready in 2 minutes.
Male: Just coming home in 2 minutes.
World truth - and convert it as a part of humor.
----
After marriage the shy boy got confused on how to start the conversation!
After long silence, he finally asks to his wife: Do your family know that you are going to stay here from tonight onward?
Shyness makes sometime dumbo. So this bridegroom asks a silly question out of fear and makes us smile.
Sunday, 4 January 2015
Crazy, New but for above 18
Sorry, this time for being late, but better late than never. So here, again, bringing some of the best, crazy, corny, lovely, naughty jokes you ever heard but take care as this time they are for above 18 and have got some comic climax of couples..you know..lol..
So go down, and have fun..
1.) A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.
2.) A blonde walked in on her husband having an affair. She was so angry she pulled out a gun and pointed to the woman's head. She was about to pull the trigger, when her husband said, "No, don't!" and she replied, "Shut up, you're next!"
3.) A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."
4.) Man comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger with his wife. He says, "What the hell are you two doing?" His wife turns to the stranger and says, "I told you he was stupid."
5.) One day a girl was talking to her friend and she said to her, "My boyfriend bought me flowers for my special day this year so I guess I have to put my legs in the air for him.", and her friend replied, "Why? Don't you have a vase?"
6.)Two 4 year boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".
"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.
"What's that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
7.) "How old were you when it was cut off?"
8.) "My mother said I was just 2 days old."
9.) "Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.
10.) "You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"
11.) Couple started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 11 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flash light!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past 7 minutes!"
12.) As an Air plane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!
13.) Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you�ve got it made.
14.) His sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
So go down, and have fun..
1.) A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.
2.) A blonde walked in on her husband having an affair. She was so angry she pulled out a gun and pointed to the woman's head. She was about to pull the trigger, when her husband said, "No, don't!" and she replied, "Shut up, you're next!"
3.) A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."
4.) Man comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger with his wife. He says, "What the hell are you two doing?" His wife turns to the stranger and says, "I told you he was stupid."
5.) One day a girl was talking to her friend and she said to her, "My boyfriend bought me flowers for my special day this year so I guess I have to put my legs in the air for him.", and her friend replied, "Why? Don't you have a vase?"
6.)Two 4 year boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".
"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.
"What's that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
7.) "How old were you when it was cut off?"
8.) "My mother said I was just 2 days old."
9.) "Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.
10.) "You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"
11.) Couple started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 11 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flash light!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past 7 minutes!"
12.) As an Air plane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!
13.) Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you�ve got it made.
14.) His sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
Wednesday, 24 December 2014
Sequel of Jokes
Heartiest thanks to all readers for their outstanding response in UK/USA, encouraging/enabling us to write 'Sequel of Jokes' for non-stop entertainment, having more joyful time and ensuring, you live your life having enough laughter with friends and family. This time - our jokes are funny, short, latest, contain more comedy with well timing. You can understand the pranks more clearly and easily because they're now info-graphic. We trust that you all gonna make it as viral as its previous version.
Let us also lime light that bringing this thing into your daily life rally helps to live 100 percent of your time. Humor really gives you lots of hidden benefits like: you get energy, feel more refreshed, remove boredom, come more close to everyone, reduce stress, better blood pressure and much more. We do our best effort to keep it upgraded so that every tie you visit, you find some different, something meaningful, something to have fun with. So get ready for smile and keep exploring/sharing.
Once a man went to a marriage..
as he enters - there were 2 doors - the message was for friend and second relatives.. He enters in friends gate.
Again there were 2 doors - one was for ladies and another was for gents.. He enters in Gents..
Again there were 2 doors - One was for with gifts and another was for without gifts.. So he enters in without gift..
And he reaches on the street with message - shy on you - in my marriage without gift for meal.. huh
-----
Doctor: How your face burnt?
Man: I was ironing my clothes and phone rang and...
Doctor: Aha, but the another side of face burnt as well?
Man: Oh Doctor, these people are very dumb. Someone called again.
---
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. If this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
----
The man wanted to become a great Scientist like Nutone..
after long research - he wrote the forth law of motion.
"Loose motion can never be done in slow motion"
-----
What is the meaning of greet dot on tiger Biscuit..
It means - the Tiger is On line..
-----
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Europe.. Europe who?
No your a poo..Lol
-----
Man called frantically into the phone: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Man shouted: No, this is her husband!
-----
Girl:Are you coming to my party tonight?
Boy:Ops - I am Sorry. I can not be there.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Because, I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon!
-----
I told him that look at that dead bird!
She looked up at the sky and said..."Where???"
-----
Just imagine, how many miles you have scrolled with mouse wheel.
-----
We teens are always full of energy until they say the words: clean up..
-----
Teacher: Why are you late?
Me: At least I came!
-----
Hahah..
Hey - I didn't fall - This floor just needed a big hug!
----
My grandpa always told, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
-----
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, my brother gone crazy, he thinks he's a chicken." The doctor says, "Why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "We would. But we need the eggs."
-----
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 9:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 9:30?"
Let us also lime light that bringing this thing into your daily life rally helps to live 100 percent of your time. Humor really gives you lots of hidden benefits like: you get energy, feel more refreshed, remove boredom, come more close to everyone, reduce stress, better blood pressure and much more. We do our best effort to keep it upgraded so that every tie you visit, you find some different, something meaningful, something to have fun with. So get ready for smile and keep exploring/sharing.
Once a man went to a marriage..
as he enters - there were 2 doors - the message was for friend and second relatives.. He enters in friends gate.
Again there were 2 doors - one was for ladies and another was for gents.. He enters in Gents..
Again there were 2 doors - One was for with gifts and another was for without gifts.. So he enters in without gift..
And he reaches on the street with message - shy on you - in my marriage without gift for meal.. huh
-----
Doctor: How your face burnt?
Man: I was ironing my clothes and phone rang and...
Doctor: Aha, but the another side of face burnt as well?
Man: Oh Doctor, these people are very dumb. Someone called again.
---
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. If this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
----
The man wanted to become a great Scientist like Nutone..
after long research - he wrote the forth law of motion.
"Loose motion can never be done in slow motion"
-----
What is the meaning of greet dot on tiger Biscuit..
It means - the Tiger is On line..
-----
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Europe.. Europe who?
No your a poo..Lol
-----
Man called frantically into the phone: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Man shouted: No, this is her husband!
-----
Girl:Are you coming to my party tonight?
Boy:Ops - I am Sorry. I can not be there.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Because, I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon!
-----
I told him that look at that dead bird!
She looked up at the sky and said..."Where???"
-----
Just imagine, how many miles you have scrolled with mouse wheel.
-----
We teens are always full of energy until they say the words: clean up..
-----
Teacher: Why are you late?
Me: At least I came!
-----
Hahah..
Hey - I didn't fall - This floor just needed a big hug!
----
My grandpa always told, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
-----
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, my brother gone crazy, he thinks he's a chicken." The doctor says, "Why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "We would. But we need the eggs."
-----
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 9:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 9:30?"
Sunday, 7 December 2014
Go outside
Man to young guy: Have you ever seen Taj Mahal or Easter Island's Moais,?
boy: No..
Man: Haha, go sometimes to see the world outside!!
Next day: Again, that man asks to same guy - Have you ever seen Pyramids of Giza?
Boy: No..
Man: Lol, go sometimes and see the world outside!
The another day - That man asks to boy - Have you ever seen.. the boy immediately interrupted him asking...
Do you know James?
Man: No
Boy: Lol, go sometimes, see what is happening in your home.. inside..
boy: No..
Man: Haha, go sometimes to see the world outside!!
Next day: Again, that man asks to same guy - Have you ever seen Pyramids of Giza?
Boy: No..
Man: Lol, go sometimes and see the world outside!
The another day - That man asks to boy - Have you ever seen.. the boy immediately interrupted him asking...
Do you know James?
Man: No
Boy: Lol, go sometimes, see what is happening in your home.. inside..
Sunday, 9 November 2014
Never Ending Jokes
Somethings like jokes, never ends. There are always millions of things to laugh at. Daily uncountable people get up and start a new chapter of thier lives, and somehow in their daily activities, numberless funny situations arise. People like us just grab those instances and give you a good material have fun or to share with anyone to create a good laughter.
So here, we are here adding some good newest funny pranks to add more value into our never ending journey of entertaining your world.
Wife: Can u help me in the gardening?
Husband: What do u think I am...a gardener?
Wife: Can u fix the door handle?
Husband: What do you think I am... a Carpenter?
Next day, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.
Husband: Who did all this ?
Wife: Our neighbour.
But he gave me two options.....Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.
Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger. Wife: What do u think I am.......McDonalds?!!
Boss: Do you take anything seriously?
Employee: Yes..My phone's low battery warning!!
One of stupidest question ever: What is my Nationality?
If 7 out of 12 people suffer from skin injuries does that mean the 5 of them enjoy!
Now, which way should I choose?
To the left, where nothing is right...
OR
To the the right, where nothing�s left?
Either you like me, or you're gone mad!
If they count the speed of light, do they also notice the speed of dark?
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
Simple -- To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
Well -- To stamp out burning ducks.
Best way to reduce weight!
First turn your neck to the right and then to the left.Repeat this exercise everytime when you're offered something to eat!
So here, we are here adding some good newest funny pranks to add more value into our never ending journey of entertaining your world.
Wife: Can u help me in the gardening?
Husband: What do u think I am...a gardener?
Wife: Can u fix the door handle?
Husband: What do you think I am... a Carpenter?
Next day, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.
Husband: Who did all this ?
Wife: Our neighbour.
But he gave me two options.....Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.
Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger. Wife: What do u think I am.......McDonalds?!!
Boss: Do you take anything seriously?
Employee: Yes..My phone's low battery warning!!
One of stupidest question ever: What is my Nationality?
If 7 out of 12 people suffer from skin injuries does that mean the 5 of them enjoy!
Now, which way should I choose?
To the left, where nothing is right...
OR
To the the right, where nothing�s left?
Either you like me, or you're gone mad!
If they count the speed of light, do they also notice the speed of dark?
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
Simple -- To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
Well -- To stamp out burning ducks.
Best way to reduce weight!
First turn your neck to the right and then to the left.Repeat this exercise everytime when you're offered something to eat!
Wednesday, 24 September 2014
Love plus....
Love + Care = other
Love + Fear = Dad
Love + Company = Sister
Love + Fight = Brother
Love + Life = Girlfriend
Love + Enjoyment = Frineds
Love + Care + Fear + Fight + Life + Enoyment = Wife
So married life is really easy, it is just like a walk in the park...but the problem is that the park is... 'Jurassic Park'...
Love + Fear = Dad
Love + Company = Sister
Love + Fight = Brother
Love + Life = Girlfriend
Love + Enjoyment = Frineds
Love + Care + Fear + Fight + Life + Enoyment = Wife
So married life is really easy, it is just like a walk in the park...but the problem is that the park is... 'Jurassic Park'...
Sunday, 7 September 2014
New in Market
I know you must be fed up from hearing those repeated jokes again and again. Well, do not worry - we are here to update you with fresh ones. We do lot of researches so that you get the newest. Your smile is our target - and we take it very seriously. WE wish you shall be laughing all the time. It gonna make you healthier and attractive personality. Enough - now go below - and read these new in the market.
Wife is house queen..
Does her own things..
Get irritates when given a work.
Gets happy when goes to shopping!
Rat: In a party had 4 glasses of Beer!
Cat: It is party, otherwise you would have dead!
Rat:Run from here..Otherwise people will say that I am beating a female after drunk!
Whether you are in love or being beaten by a mosquito - Results will be same..
No sleep whole nigh!!!
Dr: How do you come here?
Patient: Not feeling well!
Dr.: Do you take alcohol?
Patient: Yes, but please make it small!!
Friend: How did you teeth break?
Man: Wife has made so hard breads!
Friend: So you should have denied from eating!!
Man: That is what I did!!!
Compounder:Why do you stare girls while standing here o regular basis?
Man: Because it is written in you notice board - 11 - 1 - time to see females!!
Wife is house queen..
Does her own things..
Get irritates when given a work.
Gets happy when goes to shopping!
Rat: In a party had 4 glasses of Beer!
Cat: It is party, otherwise you would have dead!
Rat:Run from here..Otherwise people will say that I am beating a female after drunk!
Whether you are in love or being beaten by a mosquito - Results will be same..
No sleep whole nigh!!!
Dr: How do you come here?
Patient: Not feeling well!
Dr.: Do you take alcohol?
Patient: Yes, but please make it small!!
Friend: How did you teeth break?
Man: Wife has made so hard breads!
Friend: So you should have denied from eating!!
Man: That is what I did!!!
Compounder:Why do you stare girls while standing here o regular basis?
Man: Because it is written in you notice board - 11 - 1 - time to see females!!
Sunday, 15 June 2014
09 jokes you can easily share anywhere
Are confused about what to share when you want to make the atmosphere light? Well, here we are coming up with these light, clean and simple jokes to be shared at this moment, no matters what your audience are!
Here we move:
1) Man standing at ATM machine!
Thief: Get and withdraw all the money and give it to us!
Man: But I do not have ATM!
Thief: Than what are you doing here?
Man: Just to chill myself in their air conditions.
2) World's three vary innocent faces:
A- Sleeping child.
B- The person who is asking to for give some money!
C- Our Friend who is sitting in front of our parent!
3) When did the king die?
In his last war!
4)What is the main reason of divorce?
Marriage!
5) In which state biggest rives flows?
Liquid!
6) When our Prime Minister birth?
On his Birthday!
7)How will you divide 7 mangoes between 10 people?
By making Mango Shake!
8)In whole year, where maximum ice fall?
In Glass of wine!
9) Wife (Angrily): I just can not believe this! You forgot my birth day! How dare you!
Hubby (in very tempting voice): Darling, how can you expect me to remember this day when you never look any older!
Wife: Really, my love?
Hubby: Yes, Honey... (thinking - Thank God, I recall the dialogue at right time, otherwise, I would have dead today)
Not is Sure, so instead of waiting for perfect time, why not to en-cash what you have right now! Finding the correct time is very rare. You have create it, and the right time is now, live it and rest will fall on places itself.
Here we move:
1) Man standing at ATM machine!
Thief: Get and withdraw all the money and give it to us!
Man: But I do not have ATM!
Thief: Than what are you doing here?
Man: Just to chill myself in their air conditions.
2) World's three vary innocent faces:
A- Sleeping child.
B- The person who is asking to for give some money!
C- Our Friend who is sitting in front of our parent!
3) When did the king die?
In his last war!
4)What is the main reason of divorce?
Marriage!
5) In which state biggest rives flows?
Liquid!
6) When our Prime Minister birth?
On his Birthday!
7)How will you divide 7 mangoes between 10 people?
By making Mango Shake!
8)In whole year, where maximum ice fall?
In Glass of wine!
9) Wife (Angrily): I just can not believe this! You forgot my birth day! How dare you!
Hubby (in very tempting voice): Darling, how can you expect me to remember this day when you never look any older!
Wife: Really, my love?
Hubby: Yes, Honey... (thinking - Thank God, I recall the dialogue at right time, otherwise, I would have dead today)
Not is Sure, so instead of waiting for perfect time, why not to en-cash what you have right now! Finding the correct time is very rare. You have create it, and the right time is now, live it and rest will fall on places itself.
Sunday, 23 February 2014
Those Strange Things
Sometimes, unknowingly they say some things, that become a laughing stiock for all of us, so lets limelight those great funny events!
1) Oops, I lost my cell!
It is in your jeans!
Oh hello! Don't go to my family in this regard.
2) I understand your problem, but on the other hand...
You have more fingers!
3) What does that innocent watch do when it feels hungry?
I think it goes back for seconds.
4) Oh please, don't just let your mind wander..
It is far too small to be let out on its own!
5) I didn't like my beard at first, then it grew on me.
6) What happens when chemists die..
They barium!
7) Sometime I get so much anger on you but when make myself chill when I think that you are so naturally funny because your life is a joke!
8) I don't want everything but at-least God can bless me with Good company, Fame & money. intelligent friends, amazing girlfriend and supportive family!
9) Hey, Age is just a number. Yeah, and jail is just a room!
10) Slap yourself if you find 85% of the contacts in your my cell are useless!
11) I feel special when mosquitoes go crazy for me.
12) Just do it. Procrastination: working tomorrow for a better today!
13) In traffic, I horn a lot and get angry on the person who is ahead of me and expect the patience of the person who is behind me!
1) Oops, I lost my cell!
It is in your jeans!
Oh hello! Don't go to my family in this regard.
2) I understand your problem, but on the other hand...
You have more fingers!
3) What does that innocent watch do when it feels hungry?
I think it goes back for seconds.
4) Oh please, don't just let your mind wander..
It is far too small to be let out on its own!
5) I didn't like my beard at first, then it grew on me.
6) What happens when chemists die..
They barium!
7) Sometime I get so much anger on you but when make myself chill when I think that you are so naturally funny because your life is a joke!
8) I don't want everything but at-least God can bless me with Good company, Fame & money. intelligent friends, amazing girlfriend and supportive family!
9) Hey, Age is just a number. Yeah, and jail is just a room!
10) Slap yourself if you find 85% of the contacts in your my cell are useless!
11) I feel special when mosquitoes go crazy for me.
12) Just do it. Procrastination: working tomorrow for a better today!
13) In traffic, I horn a lot and get angry on the person who is ahead of me and expect the patience of the person who is behind me!
Friday, 20 December 2013
Now Walk
Every girls wants a sweet caring loving husband. ..
But I can't be complete every girl's wish. ..sorry!
Married life is so simple, Its just like a walkin the park.!!
BUT the problems is that the Jurassic-park...Jurassic Park... Now walk!
But I can't be complete every girl's wish. ..sorry!
Married life is so simple, Its just like a walkin the park.!!
BUT the problems is that the Jurassic-park...Jurassic Park... Now walk!
Tuesday, 5 November 2013
Some Craziest Dumbest Statements
When Mr. Romeo tells Miss Juliet that she's fat!
Well, he doesnt always use the internet, but when he does, he shares recipes and inspirational quotes. he is..the most pinteresting man in the world.
Crazy the only reason some people are starving and suffering in the world is because they aren't "so blessed".
Is there any jail just for people that don't break apart kit kats before they eat them.
My friends think that I got Right woman in my life but they don't yet know that she is 'Always Right'!
Well, he doesnt always use the internet, but when he does, he shares recipes and inspirational quotes. he is..the most pinteresting man in the world.
Crazy the only reason some people are starving and suffering in the world is because they aren't "so blessed".
Is there any jail just for people that don't break apart kit kats before they eat them.
My friends think that I got Right woman in my life but they don't yet know that she is 'Always Right'!
Saturday, 5 October 2013
2 Doors
Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4, it would be chicken sedan.
What's white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Because if it had 4, it would be chicken sedan.
What's white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Saturday, 14 September 2013
With a Broken Pencil
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
BECAUSE IT'S POINTLESS!
What did Zero say to number Eight?
sigh
BECAUSE IT'S POINTLESS!
What did Zero say to number Eight?
sigh
Wednesday, 14 August 2013
Coolest, craziest and simplest
Whether you're sitting idle or busy in any project, you can always spare some minutes to relax your mind and soul. No, no you need not to put any special effort for doing it, because we're giving you some of the coolest, craziest and simplest jokes for this purpose. They are one or two line long so no crack them when you get a chance.
What's white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Have you heard about the constipated mathematician?
He had to work it out with a pencil.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
Where do you find a one legged dog?
Wherever you left it.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Which is the most stupid animal living in the jungle?"
"The polar bear."
Q:What's grey?
A: A melted penguin
Why don't seagulls fly over bays?
Because then they would be bagels!
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
In little nazis.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A-buck-an-ear
I once farted in an elevator, which was wrong on so many levels.
What's green and when you get it stuck between your teeth, you die?
A tractor.
What's white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Have you heard about the constipated mathematician?
He had to work it out with a pencil.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
Where do you find a one legged dog?
Wherever you left it.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Which is the most stupid animal living in the jungle?"
"The polar bear."
Q:What's grey?
A: A melted penguin
Why don't seagulls fly over bays?
Because then they would be bagels!
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
In little nazis.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A-buck-an-ear
I once farted in an elevator, which was wrong on so many levels.
What's green and when you get it stuck between your teeth, you die?
A tractor.
Friday, 9 August 2013
Get a Hole
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
Guide to understanding a net addiction on various days:-
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three hours of usenet.
The law of heredity is that all undesirable traits come from the other parent.
Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month. Others just go over them.
In case they get a hole in one!
Guide to understanding a net addiction on various days:-
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three hours of usenet.
The law of heredity is that all undesirable traits come from the other parent.
Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month. Others just go over them.
Sunday, 4 August 2013
Silliest Complaints Ever - You Must Go Through
After receiving strange but eye opening complaint from a user, Microsoft decided not to invest further in computers..
Complaint Date: 1st April - Person Name: I Doubt!
Dear Owner,
I bought a computer for my family but we came across some of the biggest unexpected problems! Kindly have a look.
#1. Near alt, I saw the start button but there is no Stop button.
#2. I also purchased keyboard, mouse, data card, CPU, data cable but there is only one icon which shows 'My computer'. So when you will provide the remaining items?
#3.You also show 'My Network Places'. For heaven's sake, please stop providing 'My secret places' I just do not want to let my spouse know where I go after my office hours.
#4. My kids learned 'Computer Word' now they want to learn 'Computer Sentence' so let us know when you introduce that.
#5. There is a query whether any re-scooter is available in your system? I see 're-cycle' only but U own a scooter.
#6. It is shocking that windows says 'My pictures' but there is not even a single pic of mine. So when will you keep my photos ion that?
#7. There is 'Microsoft Office' what about 'Microsoft Home' because I use system at home only.
#8. You only show my recent documents but I need to check my past documents too!
#9. You placed a 'Find' key but it is not working at all. My kid lost my car's key and I tried a lot to trace it with this 'find' button but it didn't work!
#10. Last but not least.. You tell you name is Gates then why are you selling Window?
Thanks & Regards
Always Concerned Person.
Complaint Date: 1st April - Person Name: I Doubt!
Dear Owner,
I bought a computer for my family but we came across some of the biggest unexpected problems! Kindly have a look.
#1. Near alt, I saw the start button but there is no Stop button.
#2. I also purchased keyboard, mouse, data card, CPU, data cable but there is only one icon which shows 'My computer'. So when you will provide the remaining items?
#3.You also show 'My Network Places'. For heaven's sake, please stop providing 'My secret places' I just do not want to let my spouse know where I go after my office hours.
#4. My kids learned 'Computer Word' now they want to learn 'Computer Sentence' so let us know when you introduce that.
#5. There is a query whether any re-scooter is available in your system? I see 're-cycle' only but U own a scooter.
#6. It is shocking that windows says 'My pictures' but there is not even a single pic of mine. So when will you keep my photos ion that?
#7. There is 'Microsoft Office' what about 'Microsoft Home' because I use system at home only.
#8. You only show my recent documents but I need to check my past documents too!
#9. You placed a 'Find' key but it is not working at all. My kid lost my car's key and I tried a lot to trace it with this 'find' button but it didn't work!
#10. Last but not least.. You tell you name is Gates then why are you selling Window?
Thanks & Regards
Always Concerned Person.
Thursday, 1 August 2013
Insult
What if you sleep into something more comfortable? Emhh... Like a coma!
You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.
Ever you hear that?
What?
That.. that sound of no-one caring!
You seem like a black hole of need.
Don't take me as totally useless - use me for that practice!
90% of majority people live and learn, but 10% like you.. just live!
Does this mean our plans for tonight are off or your girlfriend is joining in?
A good male doesn't just happen. He has to be created by us women.
Are you hot but uncomfortable yet?
A man can sleep around no questions asked, but if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes, she's a tramp.
The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
That's the nature of research-you don't know what in hell you're doing.
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.
Ever you hear that?
What?
That.. that sound of no-one caring!
You seem like a black hole of need.
Don't take me as totally useless - use me for that practice!
90% of majority people live and learn, but 10% like you.. just live!
Does this mean our plans for tonight are off or your girlfriend is joining in?
A good male doesn't just happen. He has to be created by us women.
Are you hot but uncomfortable yet?
A man can sleep around no questions asked, but if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes, she's a tramp.
The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
That's the nature of research-you don't know what in hell you're doing.
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
Sunday, 28 July 2013
All Men
All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all others.
A retired husband is often a wife's full time job.
Easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
Cowculator
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Olive Toop
Olive Toop Who?
So do I, but I don't brag about it.
I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
A retired husband is often a wife's full time job.
Easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
Cowculator
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Olive Toop
Olive Toop Who?
So do I, but I don't brag about it.
I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
Tuesday, 23 July 2013
Just insignificant
What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea?
Because the Canadiens have all the cups.
Whats the difference between the Leafs and a cigarette machince?
The cigarette machince has PLAYER'S.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea?
Because the Canadiens have all the cups.
Whats the difference between the Leafs and a cigarette machince?
The cigarette machince has PLAYER'S.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine.
Friday, 19 July 2013
Would like to live with?
A kid was standing in court beside a judge. His parents were getting divorce and the judge asked him which parent he would like to live with.
With your mother?"
"No! she beats me all the time
"Ok,
So with your father.
"No! he beats me every night as well!
"Well if both your parents beat you then who do you want to live with?".
The boy replies "The Toronto Maple Leafs." The judge is puzzled. "why would you want to live with them?" he asks. The boy replies "Because they dont beat anyone!"
With your mother?"
"No! she beats me all the time
"Ok,
So with your father.
"No! he beats me every night as well!
"Well if both your parents beat you then who do you want to live with?".
The boy replies "The Toronto Maple Leafs." The judge is puzzled. "why would you want to live with them?" he asks. The boy replies "Because they dont beat anyone!"
Tuesday, 16 July 2013
Beautiful or Cute?
Once a lawyer wakes up from his disease after treatment, and notices his spouse besides him. His eyes little open and he utters, "Hey beautiful!" and then he falls asleep again.
His wife gets a shock because he never heard it from him.
After 10 minutes, he again opens his eyes and he says �Hey cute!"
She asks what happened? Earlier you were calling me beautiful but now cute. why?
"The drugs are wearing off!" He replies!
His wife gets a shock because he never heard it from him.
After 10 minutes, he again opens his eyes and he says �Hey cute!"
She asks what happened? Earlier you were calling me beautiful but now cute. why?
"The drugs are wearing off!" He replies!
Saturday, 13 July 2013
Thoughtful and touching thing
One day, two friends play golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 29 years."
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 29 years."
Wednesday, 10 July 2013
Girl After Wine
When a girl takes Alcohol, there are lots of funny dramatic things happen with her. She does lots of daring and amusing tasks. Before and after drink, there is world of difference between her personality. Lets have a look at them:
You really believe that dancing with your arms, rounding your head, and wiggling your back portion while shouting 'Woo-hoo!' is perfectly coolest dance move ever.
You start hugging your friends and expressing you love them more than anyone else.
You get very exited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because 'Oh my God! This is ma favorite song!'
You've suddenly started smoking and be really perfect at first go.
You start yelling at bartender, who you believe cheated you by giving you just lemonade.
It feels like you are in bed but pillow feels like tough floor.
You've suddenly decided that you love to kick someone's back and sincerely believe you could do it.
At you last visit to pee, you realize that you now look more like a homeless hooker than the simple sweet goddess you were just before few hours ago.
You throw your sandals because you believe it's their fault that you're having walking problem.
When a vehicle hits you you have no idea where your mobile and purse are.
You really believe that dancing with your arms, rounding your head, and wiggling your back portion while shouting 'Woo-hoo!' is perfectly coolest dance move ever.
You start hugging your friends and expressing you love them more than anyone else.
You get very exited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because 'Oh my God! This is ma favorite song!'
You've suddenly started smoking and be really perfect at first go.
You start yelling at bartender, who you believe cheated you by giving you just lemonade.
It feels like you are in bed but pillow feels like tough floor.
You've suddenly decided that you love to kick someone's back and sincerely believe you could do it.
At you last visit to pee, you realize that you now look more like a homeless hooker than the simple sweet goddess you were just before few hours ago.
You throw your sandals because you believe it's their fault that you're having walking problem.
When a vehicle hits you you have no idea where your mobile and purse are.
Tuesday, 9 July 2013
You are not obnoxious
You are not obnoxious like so many other people..
SO what I am?
You are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.
SO what I am?
You are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.
Monday, 8 July 2013
Great legs
In a club, there was some big fat bird dancing on that table.
As I walked past, I said great legs.
She said "really, thank you"
I said yeah, most tables would have collapsed by now.
As I walked past, I said great legs.
She said "really, thank you"
I said yeah, most tables would have collapsed by now.
Saturday, 6 July 2013
What's WRONG with me
A lady early in morning, rushed to visit her doctor. She was looking very much tensed and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....
Tuesday, 2 July 2013
With Your Wife
A man goes to a bar and asks for a beer.
Waiter replies: Sure Sir, Its cost is one cent." "One Cent?"
the man exclaims. He glances at the menu and asks: How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?
A nickel, the barman replies.
"A nickel?" exclaims the man.
Where's the man who owns this place?
The bartender replies: "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asks: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replies: The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.
Waiter replies: Sure Sir, Its cost is one cent." "One Cent?"
the man exclaims. He glances at the menu and asks: How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?
A nickel, the barman replies.
"A nickel?" exclaims the man.
Where's the man who owns this place?
The bartender replies: "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asks: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replies: The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.
Sunday, 30 June 2013
New French tank
Did you hear about the new French tank?
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
Monday, 24 June 2013
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Friday, 21 June 2013
Why are you late?
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
Farmer's wife
How did the farmer's wife get the chickens in to the pot?
She told them it was a chicken jacuzzi.
She told them it was a chicken jacuzzi.
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
Too much weight
How do you let your wife know that she is putting on too much weight?
You give her a certificate with the title "NUTRITIONAL OVERACHIEVER"!
You give her a certificate with the title "NUTRITIONAL OVERACHIEVER"!
Muscle spasms
How much do you exercise?
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all!
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all!
Friday, 14 June 2013
Thursday, 13 June 2013
A mole and an eagle
Q: What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
A: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.
A: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.
Tuesday, 11 June 2013
Sunday, 9 June 2013
The florist
Did you hear about the florist who had two kids?
One was a budding genius and the other was a blooming idiot.
One was a budding genius and the other was a blooming idiot.
Friday, 7 June 2013
Your point of view.
I'd love to see things from your point of view..
But..
What?
But I can not seem to get my head that far up your ass.
The thing to laugh in this joke is some people's mind is not located in head. They always talk strange. So indirectly, he is making fun of his stupid unrelated suggestions. I know you too have that kind of person in your circle, so why not to use it.
But..
What?
But I can not seem to get my head that far up your ass.
The thing to laugh in this joke is some people's mind is not located in head. They always talk strange. So indirectly, he is making fun of his stupid unrelated suggestions. I know you too have that kind of person in your circle, so why not to use it.
Tuesday, 4 June 2013
Newspaper
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get the newspaper!
Imagining chickens doing so can make anyone giggle. They are really so cute but seems to be too busy in their work. Their innocence forces to joke about them.
To get the newspaper!
Imagining chickens doing so can make anyone giggle. They are really so cute but seems to be too busy in their work. Their innocence forces to joke about them.
Go down
What does is smell like to go down on a 75 year old woman?
Depends.
What a bad guy, for the age of 75 year old female, he still finds some chances! isn't it? Everyone else would have been said a big NO!
Depends.
What a bad guy, for the age of 75 year old female, he still finds some chances! isn't it? Everyone else would have been said a big NO!
A pirate in bar
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his pants.
Bartender says, "Hey! Did you know you have a steering wheel coming out of your pants?"
Pirate says, "Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Bartender says, "Hey! Did you know you have a steering wheel coming out of your pants?"
Pirate says, "Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Brown chicken v/s Brown cow
What do you get when a brown chicken has sex with a brown cow?
Brown chicken brown cow (answering in sing-songy 'bow chicca bow now').
Brown chicken brown cow (answering in sing-songy 'bow chicca bow now').
Two pairs of trousers
Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them?
In case they had a hole in one.
In case they had a hole in one.
Monday, 3 June 2013
Sunday, 2 June 2013
Saturday, 1 June 2013
Chicken coop
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
Friday, 31 May 2013
Not long enough
A couple are trying to set up a new password for their a/c.
The husband puts, "My that" and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
The husband puts, "My that" and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
Hen-pecked
A husband is a man who when someone tells him he is hen-pecked, answers, yes, but I am pecked by a good hen.
Thursday, 30 May 2013
Wednesday, 29 May 2013
Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date
1. You're wearing that?
2. Something smells funny.
3. Where's the Tylenol?
4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.
5. I have a confession to make�
6. My dad has a suit just like that.
7. That man is hot. Look at him.
8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever�
9. You're going to order that? Seriously?
10. You're how old?
? Gena Showalter
2. Something smells funny.
3. Where's the Tylenol?
4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.
5. I have a confession to make�
6. My dad has a suit just like that.
7. That man is hot. Look at him.
8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever�
9. You're going to order that? Seriously?
10. You're how old?
? Gena Showalter
Golfer's advantage
What advantage does a golfer have over a fisherman?
He doesn't have to produce anything to prove his story.
He doesn't have to produce anything to prove his story.
Tuesday, 28 May 2013
Dad's Age
Them: How old is your dad?
Me: As old as me.
Them : How can that be?
Me: He became a father only when I was born.
Me: As old as me.
Them : How can that be?
Me: He became a father only when I was born.
Monday, 27 May 2013
Getting on my nerves
Sheila: That boy is getting on my nerves.
Rosie: What nonsense -- he is not even looking at you!
Sheila: That is what is getting on my nerves.
Rosie: What nonsense -- he is not even looking at you!
Sheila: That is what is getting on my nerves.
A tick and a lawyer
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off of you when you die.
A tick falls off of you when you die.
Sunday, 26 May 2013
Finest Lie
Two kids were arguing when the teacher entered.
Teacher: Why are you arguing?
Kid: We found a 20 dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the finest lie.
Teacher: Sham on you. When I was your age I didn�t even know what a lie was.
The kid gave bill to the teacher.
Teacher: Why are you arguing?
Kid: We found a 20 dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the finest lie.
Teacher: Sham on you. When I was your age I didn�t even know what a lie was.
The kid gave bill to the teacher.
Far worse way
You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.
Last night fight
The fight we had last night was my fault.
My wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.
My wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.
Nice Decent Clean Jokes
'If you want to read Nice and Decent Clean Jokes then it is the best place for your desire. Undoubtedly you can share these modest jokes with your family, relatives, elders and younger.'
Very Neat - Very Funny - Responsive - Cute - Evergreen - General
General:
Difference between talent and God gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hours on many subjects. This is talent
A woman can give lecture for 2 hour without any subject - this is a God gift!
What two things can never be eaten for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner
What is so special about Pretty Bunny�s jewellery?
It is made from 14 carrot (carrat) gold
Where can you always find a tiger�s head?
Four feet from its tail.
What's brown and runny?
Usain Bolt.
How do you make one disappear?
Add a �g� or an �n� to �one�!
Very Funny:
if a girl says - I don't like shopping...than marry her!
After making girlfriends, guys actually know how costly the life style is.
Wife: What is the spelling of Happiness
Husband: U.N.M.A.R.R.I.E.D.
Some kids are so cute that after seeing them - we desire to meet their moms..
Beggar Gets 10 cents from madam on red light.
Her shouts: this is not fair..
Madam: Why?
Beggar: One last red light, you donated USD 10..
Mada,m: How did you know?
Beggar: While showing his apple phone, see he shouted in group on whatsapp!
Kid: My teacher is cute and beautiful.
Dad: Son, teacher is like mother.
Kid: Selfish, you always think o your self.
Responsive:
How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?
A wave.
Something a bridegroom might wear: 'A dress..'
Dr: When did you first notice you had diarrhea?
Patient: When I took off my bicycle clips.
Something that Father Christmas does when he comes to your house: 'Feeds your pets..'
My girlfriend told me choose any one - "friends or me". Sometimes I miss her.
I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
*Stalks crush on Facebook*... *Accidentally likes status from 2009*... *Deletes Facebook*... *Sets computer on fire*... *Leaves country*
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They both live underground, apart from the eagle.
Cute:
Girl's logic: When you like a guy, do nothing about it and expect him to magically know and make the first move.
You breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.
Something that makes you close your eyes: "Dark.."
What's the difference between driving in golf and driving a car?
When you drive a car you don't want to hit anything.
Wife : Do you want meal?
Husband: What are my choices?
Wife: Denial or acceptance.
Evergreen:
The pig who fell in the DIRTY MUD took a CLEAN bath
The robber who was robbing was caught by a GOOD policeman
Very Neat
Child : With report card in hand..
Mother: So whats your final grade?
Child : Underwater
Mother : what does that mean?
Child: Below C LEVEL (Sea.. you know..)
When are the steps rude????
When they stair at you!
Kld : (returning from his match in his floor) "Mom", can I have an apple?
Mom: Baby, you just ate one.
Kid: An apple a day keeps the doctor away and I just broke his window.
Now jump to Funny Quotes.
Very Neat - Very Funny - Responsive - Cute - Evergreen - General
General:
Difference between talent and God gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hours on many subjects. This is talent
A woman can give lecture for 2 hour without any subject - this is a God gift!
What two things can never be eaten for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner
What is so special about Pretty Bunny�s jewellery?
It is made from 14 carrot (carrat) gold
Where can you always find a tiger�s head?
Four feet from its tail.
What's brown and runny?
Usain Bolt.
How do you make one disappear?
Add a �g� or an �n� to �one�!
Very Funny:
if a girl says - I don't like shopping...than marry her!
After making girlfriends, guys actually know how costly the life style is.
Wife: What is the spelling of Happiness
Husband: U.N.M.A.R.R.I.E.D.
Some kids are so cute that after seeing them - we desire to meet their moms..
Beggar Gets 10 cents from madam on red light.
Her shouts: this is not fair..
Madam: Why?
Beggar: One last red light, you donated USD 10..
Mada,m: How did you know?
Beggar: While showing his apple phone, see he shouted in group on whatsapp!
Kid: My teacher is cute and beautiful.
Dad: Son, teacher is like mother.
Kid: Selfish, you always think o your self.
Responsive:
How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?
A wave.
Something a bridegroom might wear: 'A dress..'
Dr: When did you first notice you had diarrhea?
Patient: When I took off my bicycle clips.
Something that Father Christmas does when he comes to your house: 'Feeds your pets..'
My girlfriend told me choose any one - "friends or me". Sometimes I miss her.
I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
*Stalks crush on Facebook*... *Accidentally likes status from 2009*... *Deletes Facebook*... *Sets computer on fire*... *Leaves country*
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They both live underground, apart from the eagle.
Cute:
Girl's logic: When you like a guy, do nothing about it and expect him to magically know and make the first move.
You breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.
Something that makes you close your eyes: "Dark.."
What's the difference between driving in golf and driving a car?
When you drive a car you don't want to hit anything.
Wife : Do you want meal?
Husband: What are my choices?
Wife: Denial or acceptance.
Evergreen:
The pig who fell in the DIRTY MUD took a CLEAN bath
The robber who was robbing was caught by a GOOD policeman
Very Neat
Child : With report card in hand..
Mother: So whats your final grade?
Child : Underwater
Mother : what does that mean?
Child: Below C LEVEL (Sea.. you know..)
When are the steps rude????
When they stair at you!
Kld : (returning from his match in his floor) "Mom", can I have an apple?
Mom: Baby, you just ate one.
Kid: An apple a day keeps the doctor away and I just broke his window.
Now jump to Funny Quotes.
Top 100 Knock Knock Jokes
'Do you know the best-known format of the pun in the style of "call and answer" exercise? A kind of role-play type of game, with a punster and a recipient of wit. Yes, Knock knock jokes! So enjoy here Top 100 best of them.'
And if you like video then enjoy -:
And if you like video then enjoy -:
| Knock, knock Who�s there? Merry. Merry who? Merry Christmas! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in? | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Anee. Anee,who? Anee one you like! | Knock, knock Who�s there? Iva. Iva who? I�ve a sore hand from knocking! | Knock Knock Who�s there? Cows go Cows go who? Cows go moo not who. | knock knock who's there Andy! Andy who Andy bit me again owwwwwwwwwwww. submitted by: Ruby | |
| Knock, knock. Who�s there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anybody want to let me in? | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little money for the movies. | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Henrietta. Henrietta who? Henrietta worm that was in his apple. | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin the piggy bank again. | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby birthday to you! | Knock Knock Who's there? Dwen Dwen who? Dwen the bathroom I'm dweening! submitted by:Elizabeth | |
| Knock, knock. Who�s there? Cow�s go Cow�s go who? Cow�s don�t go who, they go moo! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Etch. Etch who? Bless you! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Roach. Roach who? Roach you a letter, did you get it? | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Aida. Aida who? Aida sandwich for lunch today. | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe help me with my home | ||
| Knock, knock. Who�s there? Scold. Scold who? Scold enough out here to go ice skating. | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Police. Police who? Police hurry up, it�s chilly outside! | Knock, knock Who�s there? Justin. Justin who? Just in the neighborhood, thought I would drop by. | Knock, knock Who�s there? Ben. Ben who? Ben knocking For 10 minutes. | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Nana. Nana who? Nana your business. | Knock knock. Who's there? I eat map. I eat map who? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW submitted by Katniss Everdeen | |
| Knock, knock. Who�s there? Adore. Adore who? Adore is between us. Open up! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Otto. Otto who? Otto know. I�ve got amnesia. | Knock, knock. Who�s there? King Tut. King Tut who? King Tut-key fried chicken! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in it�s cold out here. | Knock, knock Who's there? Boo Boo Hoo? Don't cry, it's just me! submitted by Ray York | Knock Knock Who's There? Who Who Who? l Didn't know you were an owl! HARDEE HAR HAR By: Leroy Jenkins | |
| Knock, knock. Who�s there? Two knee. Two knee who? Two-knee fish! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Hoo. Hoo who? Are you a owl? | Knock, knock. Who�s there? A herd. A herd who? A herd you were home, so I came over! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good place we can get something to eat? | Knock-knock Who's there? A pile-up. A pile-up who? | Knock, knock Who's there Angelina Jolie Angelina Jolie who? Knock, knock Who's there? (mime overdone horror) Oops! I did it again! | |
Knock, knock. Who�s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, it�s cold out here! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub, It�s overflowing! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Claire. Claire who? Claire the way, I�m coming through! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Arfur. Arfur who? Arfur got! | Knock-knock- Who's there? Poop Poop-who? HAHA YOu SAID POO-POO submitted by Ryan | ||
| Knock Knock Who's There Cargo Cargo who? Car go beep beep! | Knock knock. Who's there? Honey bee. Honey bee who? Honey bee a dear and get me a soda! | Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrup-You have cancer. | Knock, knock. Who�s there? Iona. Iona who? Iona new car! | Knock, knock. Who�s there? I am. I am who? You mean you don�t know who you are? | ||
Knock Knock! Who's There? BenBen who? Ben knocking on the door all afternoon! | Who's there? Radio! Radio who? Radi-o not, here i come.. | Who's there? Thistle. Thistle who? Thistle have to hold you until dinner's ready.. | Who's there? Owls! Owls who? That's right owls hoo.. | Who's there? Ears! Ears who? Ears some more knock knock jokes for you.. | Knock knock Who's there? Me! Me who? Wow they were not kidding when they said you got hit in the head! submitted by Annalisse | |
| Knock, Knock. Who's there? To! To who? To whom. | Knock, Knock. Who's There? Howard Howard who? Howard I know? | Knock, Knock. Who's there? Xavier! Xavier who? Xavier breath and open the door! | Knock, Knock. Who's there? I did up. I did up who? AHAHAHA. YOU DID A POO! | Knock, Knock. Who's there? Mikey! Mikey who? Mikey doesn't fit in the keyhole! | Knock, Knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow! Interrupt-- Moo!!! | |
| knock knock who's there? your butt your butt who? yeah your butt poops submitted by:- Angelina garcia | why did sally drop her ice cream... she got hit by a bus.... knock knock.... who's there???? not Sally. submitted by Adrianna and Lexi | Knock knock! Who's there? I. I who? Oh my gosh! The amnesia is worse that I thought! | knock knock who's there you you who? eeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr you are doing a flat poo! | Knock knock Who's there? Shelby Shelby Who? Shelby coming round the mountain when she comes... submitted by Catherine Bowdidge | Knock Knock Who's there? Little old lady Little old lad who? WOW! I didn't know you can yodel! Sub. by: Melessa South | Knock knock Who's there John John who I thought you were John hahahan |
Saturday, 25 May 2013
Male or Female
Hey why are you laughing so hard
Me: Just look at that man with the curly hair and white jeans. Is it a male or female?
It�s a girl and my daughter.
Me: ops, so sorry, sir. I didn�t know that you were her father.
Excuse me, I�m not her father but her mother!
Me: Just look at that man with the curly hair and white jeans. Is it a male or female?
It�s a girl and my daughter.
Me: ops, so sorry, sir. I didn�t know that you were her father.
Excuse me, I�m not her father but her mother!
Friday, 24 May 2013
Terms and conditions
At a nerd wedding they don't say, "I do."
They say, "I accept the terms and conditions."
They say, "I accept the terms and conditions."
Thursday, 23 May 2013
School day
Basic school day..
Me: I hate all of you.
Me: Stop screaming you saw your friend yesterday.
Me: Maybe if I hit my head on my desk I'll die.
Me: I hate all of you.
Me: Stop screaming you saw your friend yesterday.
Me: Maybe if I hit my head on my desk I'll die.
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