Z176

Just Like USA or CHINA; Do You Know That In EPL Man U is Now the Destination For Old Players?
Ibrahimovic.........35 Years
Carrick................35 Years
Schweisteiger......32 Years
Rooney................31 Years
Valencia...............31 Years
Young..................31 Years
That's Why Even their Stadium is Called OLD Trafford
😂😂😂😂😂

Z175

It’s better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn’t drill.

Z174

"Only a black man will have unprotected sex with a girl he just met at the Club,then get in his car and put on a safety belt like he didn't try to kill himself a  minute ago!"😜😜😜

Z173

*A man caught a thief at night in his kitchen. Just when the man was going to raise the alarm,the thief said:"Do you remember what I said in the Bible?I said "I will come like a thief in the night"."I have come again. Blessed are you among men that you have stayed awake as I told you." Then the man looked at the thief, smiled and replied, "Sir, you have fallen into the hands of Pontius Pilate again!"* I will nail u today!

😂😂😂😂😂

Z172

Some girls are funny they will tell a guy that "it's over between us"
When the guy says Okay, she will be like
"Just like that?"
What were you Expecting my sister?? A Closing Ceremony?

Z171

When a girl texts you "Hi" You reply "Hello" Then she texts you "I have missed you, Can you do me a favor"
I advice you to quickly switch off your phone, and remove the battery, infact remove the Sim card too....My brother protect your wallet at any cost.

Z170

Wife: I know my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
Maid: (giggles)..., you only saying that to make me jealous
.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Z169

Guys, I've started receiving texts mostly from ladies like:
"Its been a while"
"I Missed you so much".
"You're so sweet my dear".
"Where are we celebrating Xmas?"

😳😳😳

BUT

No weapon formed against my wallet will prosper this December...
Amen.😁

Z168

QUOTE OF THE DAY

*Rich people go to private hospitals, they send their children to private schools,use private jet.....but thank God we all have private parts (rich or poor)...kkkkkk!!!*

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Z167

A text massage to the wife.            
Dear wife: I was supposed to come today but there some riots in town so will find somewhere where I can hide. Miss chateka has offered me some space at her home to rest. Will come tomorrow.

Wife: alright hun even here masoja yavuta whipping everyone. So am afraid. But our neighbour Mr chitalu has offered to come and stay with me for tonight for protection and power has just gone so my fon will be off. Bye love u.

Husband: ohhhh nooo am coming I think the riot has ended...😆😆😆😆😆

Z166

Advice for the Guys.
Dating one decent and loyal girl makes u a bigger boy than gathering ten cheap sluts. One Messi is better than the whole Manchester United team.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂

Z165

Dear ladies, the way you keep quiet when you find money in your man's pockets while doing his laundry, is also the same way you must keep quiet when you find used condoms in there.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Z164

A man brings his best friend home for dinner at 7.30pm after work. He hadn't announced to his wife so she was very upset.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend is just sitting there looking shocked.
Wife: "The dishes are not done, the house is a mess, there is no grocery and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?"
Husband: "Because he is thinking of getting married and I promised him a live demo!"
😳😳😄

Z163

*I am proud when my Ex girlfriends are getting married it shows that my relationship academy is doing extremely well   because it produces women that can be wives.......December intake in progress*🤓🤓🤓 *limited space tell ladies who are intrested to register nw*