Z166

Son: Mummy at what  age can I go out and  return at the time I like?

Mom: Even your father has not reached that age

Z165

They say milk gives strength. I have drunk 4 cups of milk and i  was not even able to move a wall. But when i drunk 4 bottles of beer, i saw walls moving themselves. Hmmmm These scientists should stop their lies!
??????

Z164

ADVANTAGES OF ACCIDENTS

A man in a hotel, accidentally hits a womans breast with his elbow,The man apologizes saying "if your heart is as soft as your breast you will forgive me".The woman replies.....hhmmm "if your dick is as hard as your elbow am in room 43.

Z163

Two friends were walking home and a lady happened to be blowing a kiss to one of them from the window of a storey building.
Their conversation went as follows:

1st friend: Man, it looks like that babe is blowing kiss at me.

2nd friend: Guy leave that one, no mind her.
(Then the lady signaled to him to come)

1st friend: Man the babe is calling me!

2nd friend: My friend, don't go.

1st friend: Why would you ask me not to go when a fine babe like this calls me?

2nd frnd: Guy l beg you, don't go, please don't go (feeling pity)

(The friend ignored him and went over to the lady, she went to meet him and they both went upstairs. Suddenly as they were about to have fun, they heard a car honking)

Lady: (on opening the window) Ha! That's my husband!!

1st friend: Shit! I'm in trouble!!

Lady: Don't worry, just pretend like you're the laundry man and iron these clothes (pointing at a heap of clothes)
(This guy spent the whole day ironing clothes because husband never left home that day again.
 The next day he went over to his friend's place)

1st friend: Pal, can you believe that it was clothes l ironed throughout yesterday?

2nd friend: But I told you not to go. All those clothes you ironed, l WASHED THEM!

Z162

New word added to English vocabulary;
-Clinton~ to lose something unexpectedly after a minimum of 40years of prep👆🏽😂,
Adjective• Clintonize ~ to take something or grab something from someone by surprise without the person expecting.
Clintonized• to be stripped of all your hopes. e.g.- My hopes for the wedding have been clintonized.

Z161

*A man is like shoe laces, he has to go through many holes before he ties the Knot.*
*Can I get an Amen*

Z160

*```Sex is the only sport in the world without refrees, no spectators as well and is never abandoned due to weather. Players are naked, scores are counted in terms of shorts. There are no winners or loosers. Each team enjoys, celebrates shouts and screams when they are ready to score and often go silent thereafter. DO U HAVE A MATCH TODAY ?????????????????```*

Z160

Now i always watch my wedding video in reverse and i love the end when she takes the ring off, goes out, jumps in the car and heads back to her father's home...

Z159

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner... unannounced at 7.30 pm after work.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
Wife: The dishes are not done, the house is a mess, there is no grocery and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! You will see what to do with your visitors. Why the hell did you bring him home? Im off to bed.

Husband: Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo first!

😂😂🙄🙄

Z158

A prostitute asked a doctor to make another hole near her ass. The doctor was surprised and asked why? She answered, business is going well, I want to open another branch 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Z157

*```CHELSEA```*... its only one season without
the league title

*```MAN CITY```*.....its only two seasons
without the league title

*```MAN UTD```*......its only three seasons
without the league title

*```ARSENAL```*............ no information available try again later!!!!!��������������������������

*```LIVERPOOL```*......search not found "did you mean swimming pool"

How to Spend Weekend while Enjoying it at Fullest

After working hard in your weekdays, of course you need a good break so the question is how to spend your weekend while enjoying it at fullest. As you must learn how to use your time efficiently, there are plenty of options available if you plan well.

So here are the ideas/ways to live your Saturdays/Sundays:

1. Your interest: Yes, 95% of things depends on your interest. So please conclude whether you like watching movies, playing sports, roaming around with your friends or you love seeing places. So when you came to know what things makes you feel good, you can decide well. I must say the time flies like anything so plan it well and live at fullest.

2. Laugh a lot: All week days, you control your reactions and stop yourselves from doing anything with freedom. So please when the time comes, laugh as much as possible. Read and share some jokes/pranks, watch comedy shows and let your funny bone works well. When you successfully do it, you will much better and relaxed. You can try this.

3. Do the work you actually like: Whether you are doing Job or other activities, sometimes you do it to survive in your regular life. When you've got this free time, listen to your heart. Do the work you actually like. It may be some blogging, or practicing some sport or writing some lyrics or singing. It can be anything, But just forget about what others will say, just do it. You fee a sense of satisfaction from your inner soul.

Spare time for the person who care for you: Yes, don't be too selfish. Life is all about what you give to others so care for he people who care for your all the working days. Give them the gift of time which is very valuable for them. Talk to them, smile with them, listen their problems and appreciate their efforts. This will boost their energy and your relation will be better.

Have a sound Sleep: All the time, you keep on running. Come on, relax. Your body is not a machine and it needs some rest. Have a good sleep with no worries. It will keep you away from lot of health disease.

No Calls please: Oh, mobile! It is spoiling our freedom. You can not sit relax for a moment. It keeps on ringing and with every call, a new stress takes place. So please for the sake of weekend, switch it off! Be free and carry no worries. Believe me, It gonna give you an amazing experience.

We are sure that you gonna like this post and it will bring a good change into your lives. Share it.

Thank you

Z156

Yoh😁That Moment When The Food At The Funeral Tastes Soooo good You Feel Like Shouting "Next Week... Same Time... Same Place 😹😹

Z155

The only person a woman attentively listens to and obeys sincerely and does exactly as he says is a PHOTOGRAPHER, otherwise if you're not a photographer, sit down and be strong.

Z154

Quote of the Day

Its better to sit in a bar thinking about God than to sit in a church thinking about beer.